Helping the hurting
How to Help THE ABORTION-WOUNDED
- Listen patiently; they are trying to sort out their feelings.
- Allow them to vent their anger toward others.
- Allow them to regret their choice; remind them that we all learn from our mistakes.
- Reassure them that their feelings are normal and we all make mistakes; God wants to forgive us.
- Show that you care by keeping in touch and continuing to be a sounding board for them.
- Encourage them to entrust their child completely to the care of God; reassure them that, on a spiritual level, their loss is only temporary.
- Encourage them with loving and embracing letters.
- Ask about their child and encourage them to talk about him or her (especially during the anniversary of the abortion or due date).
- Provide alter call prayers for the abortion wounded on a regular basis.
- Give them INFG referral information.
Things to Avoid...
- Denying that they lost a child.
- Condemning them for making a bad or immoral choice; shutting them off by changing the subject.
- Ignoring them for fear you’ll say the wrong thing.
- Insisting that they did the “right thing” or the “best thing” at the time.
- Encouraging them to blame others for the abortion or pushing them to forgive others when they are in the initial stages of venting their anger and rage.
- Closing your eyes to the fact that they are the mother of a lost child and have very deep feelings about him/her regardless of their past choice.
- Suggesting that having another child “someday” can make up for the one that was lost.
- Leaving them without encouraging them to accept help from ministries like If Not For Grace.
- Being afraid to follow up.