Understanding the Post-Abortive Individual
We often get questions from people who haven’t experienced abortion firsthand, but are eager to equip themselves with the necessary tools to help someone else. The first and most important step is prayer. They may or may not be ready to work through their pain, but when and if they come to you for assistance, you will be ready with a gracious response as well as post-abortion ministry referral. Another crucial aspect of helping a post-abortive individual is understanding them—learning more about their mindset and pain and the way they think and react to this topic.
When the source of the pain is not obvious…
During the initial emotional stages after an abortion, individuals often hurt others. Denial and regret can lead to alcohol or drug abuse, shouting out pain to anyone who will hear, or blaming individuals who bore no responsibility for the decisions that were made. They may openly and actively blame the world for the choice that was made or silently attempt to get back to “life as normal.”
Many individuals never realize that their abortion is the reason for their pain. Ultimately, only God can help them face the truth—that the responsibility often lies solely on them. Many can not bear the thought of consciously dealing with the grief, guilt, and agony of resurrecting their child from the depths of their hearts. In a way, their child “haunts” them at every turn.
We ask you not to judge anyone at whatever stage they are in the healing process. No matter how hard they work to drive your love away, the truth is that they are simply angry at themselves and lashing out in pain. If you are close enough, you will feel their lashes. Do not take this personally. They struggle to accept the forgiveness offered in Christ for decision to take their child’s life.
The Symptoms of Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome may be helpful for you to read to understand this hurting person. In the timeline of every post-abortive person’s healing process, there are ways that others can help and love us along our journey to wholeness in Christ.
PASS Symptoms
Grief/Sadness
Low Self-Esteem
Suicidal Thoughts
Anxiety
Feelings of Loss
Nightmares
Shame/Secrecy
Regret/Guilt
Isolation
Anniversary Syndrome
Disturbed Sleep Patterns
Fear of Relationships
Flashbacks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse
Denial
Repeated Abortions
Inability to Forgive
Self Destructiveness
Depression
Anger/Rage
Emotional Pain
Intimacy Issues
Guilt
Dwelling on thoughts about lost child
Difficulty being near infants/children
Sexual Dysfunction