The dress was beautiful, and I loved it. The gal at the store assured me that the undergarment she recommended would “fit like a glove”, and it did at first.
As the evening wore on, I found myself tugging and pulling to readjust it from rolling up and twisting around. It was distracting and kept me very self-conscious it was definitely not the right thing to wear under this beautiful dress.
This experience and these verses in Colossians, remind me that I worked so hard to outwardly wear all the beautiful traits of God.
In my relationships, I desperately wanted others to know of the Lord’s love and truth for them. I wanted them to know that they mattered to God. That God would use their stories to draw them closer to Him and closer to others.
So, why? Why did I feel like I was constantly tugging and pulling, like I was wearing the wrong clothing? What was I missing in my attire?
Over the years, I kept parts of my own story hidden. I listened to others who said it was the right thing to do.
On the outside, my dress was beautiful. Inwardly, I was still wearing that hidden restrictive undergarment.
I believed my efforts would “fit like a glove” as the foundation for my worth underneath God’s beautiful covering of love and forgiveness.
This futile thinking is what had me regularly tugging and readjusting, because what I was “wearing” under it all was not right, not right at all.
My effort to overcome shame and guilt, while trying to outwardly live in freedom, was never going to be the right garment for my heart and my life. I lived distractedly and very self-consciously.
My futile thinking had to change. I learned Jesus had to fully enter into my whole wardrobe. He would need to look at every nook and cranny, and at every item I was trying to wear. It was time to get rid of all the lies and wrong thinking out of my heart and thought closets.
In contacting If Not for Grace, I realized that God wanted me to enter my closets. He wanted me to not only select the attributes that looked good as outer garments, He wanted to help me look at all that I was wearing underneath, too.
Jesus wanted me to do a full heart and thought closet makeover with Him as my personal wardrobe consultant.
Sharing my story, especially these hardest parts, in a safe place with God and others, helped me to face that I was wearing the wrong undergarments.
I experienced the inward journey of healing with God. With confession, repentance, reconciliation, along with the facilitators and classmates, my inward thoughts were transformed by His Truth.
Now, because of His great mercy, putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience in His love no longer results in the tugging and pulling of the past and self-effort.
Now, I can put on these beautiful traits as a child of God with the secure assurance that I know, that I know, that I know the love and mercy of God adorns everything inside and out everything in my story and in yours! His is the best attire to wearand it fits perfectly.
If you find yourself in need of a safe place to look at the “clothes” you are wearing, too, If Not For Grace is here for you.
Your story matters.
Christy Kinne has a heart of gold and a passion to serve others. She has facilitated Her Choice to Heal classes. Her husband, Ward, serves on the board. We are so thankful for their service!