A letter from my child in heaven... and the difference that INFG made.

Happy Set Free Mother’s Day!

Oh, mom! I have seen the hurt and pain you have gone through over the years! The confusion and turmoil that dwelled within you as you spun on the decision over, over, and over again. I know how you wished you knew I was a real baby and not a blob of tissue as they told you. I know how you wished you had the courage to stand up to those who would condemn you for having me (who today, would condemn you for not having me).

Oh, mom, I can see how you were raised to strive, to drive, to accomplish and only saw me as your failure—the hindering block to your future. I know at the time your only moral compass was that it was “legal.” Little did you know, that while this was all happening your loving Savior was drawing you closer. I also see as you grew to know better, so did the excruciating pain inside of you.  

Oh, mom, I have seen your nightmares of burying me in the backyard, and the lack of intimate, loving relationships because of your secrecy of who you really are.

Oh, mom, the pain had been stuffed so deep, you did not even kw how to feel, and now I see how the Lord’s work through “If Not For Grace” has brought much relief.

No more condemnation,
no more fear that others might find out that I am really here.  
No more living in bondage;
you’ve been set free,
and I can see your new found freedom in how you help others be free.   

Oh, mom, the grace of love is beautiful inside of you, and others can see how it has grown in you. Your light shines so brightly for all to see. "Why?" they ask. I know it is your love for me.    

Oh, mom, I am so glad you can see now who I am, I love you today as I did then. Continue your work to help another see, God’s loving forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

Oh, mom, I celebrate this first Mother’s Day with you set free, as you rejoice in your father’s love. Don’t hurry to see me, for I am in a place where love abounds. I long for you as much as you yearn to hold me in your arms. I look forward to our time together one day, but until then I celebrate who you’ve become.

Your child in heaven

Transformed for Next Steps

Vicki Gregg

Live the Transformed Life of Barbara Butterfly

The vision of INFG is to enable abortion-wounded women, men, and families to live authentic, abundant lives; mobilizing them for Kingdom expanding work. This transformational process is outlined in Ephesians 4:20-24 and facilitated through our Next Steps services.        

What does living an authentic life mean?

Living an authentic life is an awareness and acceptance of your strengths and weaknesses. Being authentic means being true and real to who you are with yourself and others.  Since Christ was perfect, our goal as Christians, is to be like Christ. However, there can be a tendency to go through life trying to be perfect, presenting ourselves perfect to others. Being perfect is a deceptive trap of the evil one. The enemy tells us lies to cause us to be in self-denial and uses the fear of rejection to stop us from being real. Pretending entangles us in perfectionism, inhibits our growth in Christ and hinders us from being all God has called us to be. As we surrender our brokenness, identify our hurt and pain, God can use our life stories to help others grow in Christ.  

What does it look like to live an abundant life?

The world will tell us living an abundant life is more about a successful career, the size of our homes, driving nice cars, taking fancy vacations, having good looks, and the accumulation of nice toys. However, abundant life is what we receive as a gift from the Lord. We are to live as good stewards of the blessings of God. It is having the mind of Christ, living not from our desires but the guidance of Spirit and pouring into the lives of others through what we have received. Abundant life is marked by the blessings of God (Ephesians 1:4-13, His grace, mercy, redemption, forgiveness, wisdom, etc.) and the fruits of the Spirit. As an individual brought up with a mindset of worldly success, it took me a while to understand what was really important in life and what true success meant. Even with the knowledge of God’s Word, it took me many years to take the steps to change my life, have the faith to know He will carry me through and resist the lies of the evil one so I could live an abundant life.

How can I understand my purpose and be mobilized for His Kingdom expanding work?

Once we understand what it means to live an authentic and abundant life, actively seeking further growth in Christ, our purpose becomes clearer. We know we are to love others and share the good news. Loving others and sharing the good news is our God-given purpose. He gives each one of us gifts to use for the benefit of others. As God restores and the transformational work of the Holy Spirit impacts our lives, He empowers us to be vessels He can work through. He gives us more insight, opportunity, and expands our area of influence.

What are INFG’s Next Steps? What is the objective/goal and benefits of engaging in this service?

As the Director of Ministry Services, my passion is to see the Vision realized through our Next Steps services. Next Steps will provide a safe environment to be authentic, the ability to partner with a mentor to guide and support you through a personalized curriculum of studies to facilitate transformational growth. Our goal is to come alongside God by providing the means to build up an Army of Living Stones. As noted in 1 Peter 2, as we come to Christ, the living stone, we are chosen for a high calling to become instruments to do God’s work and to tell others of the night and day difference He made for us. 

Confidential Safe Environments

  • To continue to provide YOU with a safe place so you can test out your wings and begin the flight of freedom.

Individualized Bible Study Curriculum

  • To provide topical Bible Study curriculum which will address specific obstacles to each person’s growth and ability to reach the vision. We want to partner with you to devise a personal development plan to help you overcome the evil one and his efforts to stop you from living the abundant life God has planned for you.

Group Bible Studies

  • To provide trained facilitators to lead you through God’s Word so you can go deeper and allow God to transform you into all God has called you to be. Through partnerships with churches our vision is to see group Bible studies through the KC Metro area.

Mentorship/Small Group Leaders

  • To offer personal 1:1 mentoring or small group discussions to encourage and guide participants through their personal growth journey. We see the value and importance of providing a mentor/coach in helping participants reach their full potential and God-given purpose.


  • To continually deliver, fun, social events in a casual setting that foster an ongoing community of grace, healing, and connection. Bible study facilitators, mentors and past participants of the Her Choice to Heal classes and Reconciliation Weekends are encouraged to attend. Woman are grateful for a safe place to CONNECT in authentic community with those who have a shared story and passion.

I encourage you to ignite or continue in your growth process. YOU are always welcome—no matter when you began your journey!  Become Barbara Butterfly--live a transformed life and all God has for you. 

If you are interested in assisting in any area of our Next Steps services, please do not hesitate to reach out to me at vgregg@infg.org or if you are interested in supporting INFG’s services financially, click on the Donate & Get Involved tab.

The Vision Realized

Lori Driggs
Credit to Chip Ingram "Transformed"

Imagine two butterflies named Barbara and Benny emerging side-by-side. You get to ease drop on their first conversation as they prepare to take flight. Their escape from the cocoons gets them out of a tight spot and into a major decision: turn back or continue the process.

Which one of these butterflies will represent your life?

Chip Ingram says "A believer whose life does not change is an oxymoron." You see, God loves us too much to leave us in that condition. We can do more than emerge from the cocoon; we can leave it behind.

Barbara's answer to the wonderful possibilities beyond the precarious pirch outside the cocoon on the branch is to take off! Benny's answer to the wonderful possibilities beyond the precarious pirch outside the cocoon on the branch is to return to the cocoon.

Ephesians 4:20-24 says "...you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self... to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

Life outside the cocoon is scary to those familiar with the old life. For Benny, the fear associated with the unknown world held him captive in the familiarity of his cocoon. Instead of trusting his wings, he chose to reenter the cocoon he no longer fit. He became stuck between two worlds.

“The most miserable person is the butterfly trying to live as a worm."

Barbara left the cocoon behind in every way. Her attention was so focused on the new life and all its possibilities that she didn't even miss the old. For her, the excitement of finding out what it meant to be a "new creation" held all her attention. Once she began to experience that reality, she couldn't imagine going back.

Take a moment to ask God for a healthy dose of "holy recklessness" as you dream about stepping off branches and flying boldly where you haven't dared to fly before.

2 Tim 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love, and of a sound mind."

My Story: From Prison to Peace

I struggled for decades with my abortion.
Then I found release through God’s love and acceptance.

By Linda Burgess

A secret is a kind of promise. ... It can also be a prison.
— Jennifer Lee Carrell

For me, the promise was never fulfilled, but the prison was all too real. I groped in the darkness for a way out, but it remained elusive. Then one day I found the door had been in front of me all along.

I grew up in a Christian home, although we didn’t read the Bible, study or pray outside of church (except for saying grace at dinner).

Still, I gave my life to Christ at the age of 11 and was baptized. But a year or two later, my parents quit going to church and so did I. I’m thankful for my salvation and for that time in church. Looking back, I believe it prepared me to ultimately understand and receive God’s forgiveness and grace.

Now let’s fast-forward to my adult years and marriage. I had an abortion about 10 months before I married the baby’s father (who is my husband today).

For the next 37 years, I buried this wound deep within my soul. There was shame in getting pregnant before marriage, but after the abortion there was immediate shame, guilt and self-condemnation. I put a “mask” on to hide the pain and shame.

The devil loves unspoken secrets – especially those that fester the soul.
— Thomas Nickerson, "Heart of the Sea"

In the recent Moby Dick movie, “Heart of the Sea”, the main character (Thomas) says: “The devil loves unspoken secrets – especially those that fester the soul.” That’s exactly what I experienced.

My husband and I only spoke of our abortion two or three times over the decades. But the silence was not golden.

Behind closed doors, the choice we made years before continued to create great conflict:

  • Our communication suffered. We never seemed to hear one another.
  • Because of this, we argued frequently.
  • Nine years into our marriage I experienced panic attacks when driving. They became debilitating over the next 25 years. I believe this was due to the turmoil within my soul.
  • I allowed friendships to come and go. Who would understand or love me if they found out I had chosen abortion?
  • I had little self-worth. I never felt good enough to do much of anything. Because of this, I didn’t finish college and I changed jobs often.

Not only had we lost our son. Our marriage itself was now on the line.

In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance – to the full, till it overflows.”

Although our marriage was at a breaking point, I didn’t yet realize it was also near the point of a breakthrough.

The breakthrough
In the process of joining a new church, I discovered If Not For Grace and was taken aback by its purpose: “helping women journey through the pain and grief of past abortions.” At that moment I knew there was hope for healing and experiencing all that God had for me.

Was I scared? Yes! How could I share something held secret for 37 years? But I knew something had to change, and INFG promised a path toward restoration in a safe and confidential place.

A couple of weeks later, I began my healing process through the ministry.

First was a 9-week peer-facilitated Bible study called Her Choice to Heal. The study gives abortion-wounded women an opportunity to walk through the pain and grief, allowing healing and newfound freedom.

At that moment I knew there was hope for healing and experiencing all that God had for me.

After that my husband and I attended Reconciliation Weekend. This is a two-night retreat in a spa-like setting that enables women and men to continue the healing process by reconciling with God, others and our baby(ies). We were able to memorialize our son and give him his rightful place in our family and our hearts.

The third opportunity was Next Steps. I continued my healing by attending Bible studies that helped me reject lies and replace them with God’s truth.

Finding freedom
Through God’s grace and the ministry of INFG, I have found freedom and authentic living – something that had eluded me for 40 years. I’ve experienced:

  • God restoring my marriage – in fact making it better than ever before.
  • Freedom to communicate in marriage.
  • Decreasing anxiety.
  • Release from my fear of the judgment of others. During my healing experience, God revealed to me that my baby was a boy and I was to name him Daniel. That name means “God is my judge.” I knew God was telling me, “I’ve got your back Linda. You need not worry about what others think.”
  • I have authentic friendships. I don’t have to wear a mask. I share my story with pastors, ministries and anyone God wants to hear it.
  • I no longer condemn myself. God has shown me His grace, His forgiveness and His unconditional love. All those years he was waiting patiently for me to trust Him with my secret.

I’m living proof of INFG’s vision: “Enabling the abortion-wounded to live authentic, abundant lives and mobilizing them for Kingdom-expanding work.”

I give God all the glory for the healing and freedom I have received.

Helping others find healing
Now He’s given me the opportunity to serve INFG as the community awareness coordinator. I provide education about the social, spiritual, physical and emotional effects of abortion and help create partnerships with churches, pregnancy resource centers, counselors and like-minded ministries.

I also raise awareness for the need and availability of healing.

I thought I was alone, that my secret was to dark to bring out of the shadows. All that time, God was waiting in the light to give me a brand new start.

Do you need a new beginning? There is hope for each of us.